toilet paper is SO 2000 and late.

TIME TO COMFORT-WIPE AWAY YOUR FEARS.

this product is for the everyday man, the one who is ready to take charge.

time to tell your anus who’s boss, and to say “i’m tired of your shit!”.

because, like, toilet paper is really archaic.

(00:44) take note to the woman with the weird accent, who states she needs assistance defecating. honey, if you were trying to “win back” your dignity, you definitely just lost it now.

 

ps:  the “get-a-grip”? THANK GOD. how else were we supposed to exit bathtubs before?!

I’M STILL STUCK IN A BATH I TOOK THREE YEARS AGO.

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